Paris Sleeps

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Paris Kills???

first off: if you can’t handle mean comments you’ll be well-advised to read no further than this.
since everybody else is raving about how much of a milestone this album is supposed to be, i’ll be the one to play the party-pooper, taking "Paris Kills" apart… in my own very special manner of course…
The 69 Eyes’ latest output is, to be honest, exactly what i expected it to be: a good, smooth, well-produced Goth-Rock-album.
which is the very essence of my problem.
read: “good” stands for OK, but nothing new, no brilliant highlights (…and luckily no deep shadows either, at least...)
“smooth” as in flat, nothing really outstanding, let alone provoking.
”well-produced” being more in the vein of overproduced - and Goth-Rock heavily dipping into Dark-Pop.
take “Gothic Girl”, “the Chair” and “Stolen Season” off the predecessing true masterpiece “Blessed Be” - throw them in a blender, add 69 liters of pure, distilled, germ-free water, turn the mixer up full way for 42 minutes 12 seconds and then split the result into 10 pieces - out comes “Paris Kills”, as predictable as it could get.
seems to me that i’ve heard the whole album before i even heard it… and the fact that something sounds familiar doesn’t automatically imply that it will touch you, even if it sounds like something you love.
for me the album is just too much of one well-blended mass to attribute each song its distinguishing individuality - somehow i just can’t keep the single tracks apart from eachother, can’t remember which melody goes with which of the lyrics as soon as the CD has stopped playing.

1. CRASHING HIGH
aka “Gothic Girl meets Brandon Lee, diluted version”
it ends off with the words “kein Anschluss unter dieser Nummer” and my stomach turns with bliss, delight and - well, erm… symptomatic boredom.
2. DANCE D’AMOUR
question: is there a China-Town in Paris too???
…maybe if Jyrki got back to singing instead of trying to imitate Mr.Steele all the time he wouldn’t constantly end up sounding like Amanda Lear…
when i first heard the Dance Of Love early this year i lovingly dubbed it “Eiertanz”… translate for yourself…
but i’m starting to like the tune, actually… somehow… kinda…
…because this song is the very reason the album did not disappoint my expectations, for these were rather low after hearing Dance D’Amour already…
but i bet Ferrero Rocher loves the track… Mon Chèrie…
and it was fun to find out that Jyrki is a David Bowie-fan, obviously… “dance with me into the night… to the serious moonlight…”
3. BETTY BLUE
“can you see the difference in the lines between..”
erm… yes, i can.
The second verse differs from the first in exactly 8 (count: eight) words…
“can you feel the difference and the passion between…”
erm… no, i can’t.
sorry.
4. GREY
“i’m blue… dabadee dabaday dabadee daba… blue… dabadee dabaday… i’m blue dabadee…”
or was it “black is black, I want my Baby back…”?
somehow this keyboard-sound reminds me of my neighbours… because their 5-year-old son has this kiddie-piano that sounds just the same…
where’s all the good guitars?
where’s the guitar-solos??
where’s the raw elements???
where have all the flowers gone????
and what’s with all those tons of keyboards, huuhh?????
i’m starting to wonder whether Bazie is pacing the floor in his apartment...
...singing Daliah Lavi’s “wer hat mein Lied so zerstört, ma?”
(available for download at Audiogalaxy…)
5. RADICAL
“is it so radical – after all…”
well, not so very radical…
unfortunately the guitars that are obviously supposed to come crashing in towards the end in order to knock you off the Chair don’t quite manage to throw me off mine… they have been “wisely” mixed to something softer than Dove-soap, in order to not shock you with a sudden outburst of “noise” and volume.
the song itself has a very large potential to impress, to leave you with eyes wide shut and mouth wide open, drooling, but sadly has not been given the chance to completely unfold all of its might and be as powerful as it could have been…
but at least there’s somewhat of a wall-of-sound giving you a hint of what powerful an impact music can have.
6. DON’T TURN YOUR BACK ON FEAR
Deathly inspires Jyrki to pen “Black No.2”… he tries to give “Ye Ole Pete” a shot again and successfully manages to do so with 3 words: “Little Miss Spookiness”…
and it’s very nicely orchestrated.
plus, if you can remember that violin-string-plucking-type’o sound from the Cure’s “Lullaby” you’ll be most likely to have yet another Dejavu-experience.
7. STIGMATA
starting off rather unconventionally - with techno-style drums.
and a bass-line reminding me of  “Lucretia My Reflection”.
featuring a wicked little “Spiritus”-black-mass-chant.
"Spiritus", btw, is a Viennese slang-term for high-percentage liquors…
and the double-bass-drum-ending somehow reminds me of my boyfriend at night… nice rhythmic snoring shortly interrupted by a loud double-snore-intermezzo while turning around in his sleep.
other than that the song is a SistersOfMercy-cover that actually is none.
read: it sounds like a tune Andrew Eldritch would write, record and mix all by himself - while taking his siesta-nap…
8. FOREVER MORE
a very simply-structured song… holding no surprises… apart from that one riff i seem to have heard before… somewhere…
Neil Young creeping round the corner for a short moment… da-daa…dada-da-daa…
oh! and the kiddie-keyboard is back with a vengeance!
9. STILL WATERS RUN DEEP
CaN SoMeBoDy PLeaSe TaKe THaT KiDDie-KeYBoaRD aWay FRoM JoHNNy Lee MiCHaeLS ?!?!
again, if you replaced some of those synthie-sounds by a guitar playing the same notes the track would be a real killer… if…
“Still Waters…” bears witness to Jyrki’s lyrical masterpiece: right there, after the chorus - a gentle, tender “La… La La…”.
Dada-ism at its finest!!!
10. DAWN’S HIGHWAY
if having a mean moment i would say that maybe the people who broke into the studio a couple of weeks ago and stole some of the guitars and amps and other equipment should have taken along the master-tapes as well… maybe then the album would have had a bit more spunk to it due to a certain amount of anger…
but then we might have missed the last track, which is a highlight, in fact.
because this one actually does stand out!
it has its own character and feel - even though being an in-breed of “Framed In Blood”, “Sleeping With Lions” and “Graveland” (the latter due to a slight twang-sound of the guitars in places).
and finally the vocals give us a tad more variety than just the odd wanna-be-Eldritch-imitation.
plus a seductive “m-hmm”.
and the word “coyote” has never sounded that sexy before.

aaand finally: the artwork…
altoghether very nice to look at, but then again: Dejavu…
and the super-glossy paper perfectly shows each and every fingerprint.
(note to myself: buy white butler-gloves!)
plus i’m starting to have a problem now:
OK, Mr.StrawberryStreaks is as hot as ever…
but it seems like Timo-Tofu is close at his heels, planning to take over… the man just looks better and better the older he gets!!! and it would be, still after all, unlawful to have any kind of naughty things going on with my own “brother”, right?! ;-)… (OK, THAT’s a real insider-joke…)
Paris Kills???
yeah, maybe, but not me, the K-Bunny…

PS: all of the above was written while listening to the album for the 3^rd time.
now it’s 3 days later, and Paris Kills has just absolved its 7^th spin through my beloved discman.
i’m starting to get used to it, and i’m starting to like the songs better, but the main problem i have with that album is still the same:
it’s over-produced and sounds too smooth.
some more of the good, raw elements (e.g. guitars) replacing that dreadful kiddie-keyboard would have been highly appreciated by me-myself-and-i.
and it seems that Jyrki’s been way too busy, you know, biting young French Goth chicks’ necks… *  and therefore has left the album with a certain lack of lyrical inspiration.
“Paris Kills” fails to impress me much, unlike all the previous albums, which managed to leave a rather strong impact at an instant. i’m missing something unique like BumpAndGrind’s innocence, SavageGarden’s raw, dirty naughtiness, WrapYourTroublesInDreams’ just-found maturity, WastingTheDawn’s irony and BlessedBe’s variety, flair and *zing* - all of which just threw me over when i heard those albums for the first time.
“Paris Kills” is good, but the songs just don’t touch me, for i find them rather shallow, lacking depth.
at least “Radical” seems to make itself a bit more available for the “hooky-tune-competition” the more often i hear it, and “Still Waters…”’ *La…La La*… turns out to be an ear-bugger, swirling constantly in my head, even as I try to find my good night’s sleep.
who knows, maybe the 69^th re-run of the silver disc will do the magic trick for me… *shrugs*
and until then: just push play…

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